Thanks for the hard questions KD. Anger is something I have been working on every day. I actually just finished "dance of anger" and am still processing it. I am feeling it a little more than usual today b/c he just left on a family reunion trip that I'd been looking forward to since last year when it was initially planned.
STBX's "more of the same" that I'm talking about here is only since BD. Act nice/sweet/helpful/charming and then want to talk about D/Ls/selling the house, etc. It's like clockwork now. My agreeing to talk at the time that he asked to talk was a change from pre-BD (he said in the past that I never wanted to talk or there was never a good time to talk).
As for the pictures - I honestly don't know what to do with them. They are easily-replaceable prints of digital photos. We shred everything paper here so it's not an act of anger per se on those. I will ponder my motivations and perhaps put them on a pile for STBX to deal with.
The reason I don't want to be friends with STBX now is because, as he says, we don't seem to share common interests anymore. I agree with this to the extent that he is interested in doing things a normal 22 year old would do and I am not.
As for the "more of the same" - his main reason for BD was our M had been getting better and he was afraid things would be bad again in the future. I'd already changed a lot of my "more of the same" but he continued to D. On the advice of my DB coach I have cooled off more and more as he continues the D process.
For GAL - I have been hitting the gym more than ever. I'm in the best shape I've perhaps ever been since I became chronically ill nearly 10 years ago. I have spent the past 2 years after recovering from my illness reconnecting with many old friends. I go out with friends and coworkers. I attend recurring cultural/educational events in town and have invited different people with me every time. I am planning a day trip out of town for a few months from now and out of the country next year and the year after with friends. This weekend I plan to work on some art and do a few more things around the house to make it appraisal-ready. I am also making a craft gift for a friend who recently had a baby.
As for 5 things to do .... I will continue to ponder this over the weekend. for starters
1. I will start my list of assets/possessions in the house and as adinva recommended (paraphrasing) categorize by must have/want/don't want. I intended to do this this past week and didn't. This will help me feel more informed and prepared for upcoming negotiations over "stuff." Right now I feel out of control because I don't know what he wants to "take" from me.
2. I will investigate when the sport/social leagues start up, what the fees are, and which teams are in my area. I'm in a budget freeze right now until the house stuff is settled.
3. I will calendar some of my alumni association events and actually go to them rather than thinking about going and then not.
Thank you again for posing the questions, KD. This has already been helpful to get me to think of some things that need to be considered and re-considered.
