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Originally Posted By: zig
haha - KD -are you giving me permission without realizing it?


Actually, I was pretty much telling you that you should do something with H and then maybe settling down after your S goes to sleep and having a cuddle session with your H...

maybe... wink

whistle

grin

OK, mention about the movie. Ask him what he thinks, maybe he'll offer for dinner as well. And then... see where that all takes you...

No pressure to him, though. Just be a supportive friend to him.

ok... I'll hug back...

{{{{{zig}}}}}

cool

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Very happy he Made that decision but happier that you were still. It's funny how things can work themselves out. And it could have damaged how he feels around you or how ow spins it to him if she is upset about not coming.
So funny about the turtle on tv!!!

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Originally Posted By: zig
oh shoot, vera - thanks -for some reasonn i though KD wrote both your post and his. luckily i went back to look

thanks for your great advice - and i am looking to you tough knowledgeable chicks out there to help guide me down this road - i will admit i don't have a clue, on all this financial/ legal stuff.

so a lot of my answer to kd includes responding to you - sorry i got mixed up.


No worries. As long as the words get to you that's what matters wink

If you are truly worried about paying for a L, contact your county or state bar association. They should be able to refer you to family law attys who handle matters on a sliding scale or do pro bono work. I would be wary of Ls who charge for the initial consult upfront (i.e. make you pay a flat fee for the hour regardless of whether you hire them). I went to one like that, figured I'd just eat the fee b/c she was highly recommended, and I HATED her and then was out a few hundred $$ for a visit where she asked why I was there and then made me feel like an idiot. Please don't make that same mistake! smile

Enjoy movie night wink wink

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okay , i need you guys to back up a bit. grin

he's hardly going to look to lil ole me for comfort!!

my h is the paragon of NOT needing comfort - so's my s!!

and him coming over to cuddle after - hahaha!

that will be the day

don't forget - h thinks he doesn't deserve to be around us and have fun with us!!

i would love if he suggested dinner too - i am totally avoiding cooking here - but feel guilty money wise on splurging on both.

hope you realized that he doesn't know that i am aware of all this behind the scenes going ons...

KD - you are bad - all that winking - now you're putting thoughts in my head that i very firmly put away as not being options any longer grin

okay - off to take the bull by the horns!!!

hey and thanks for special hug grin - i know they come out squeezed grin grin

zig


me 46 H 38
M10yrs T 11
S10
BD ow 8/11
h filed 9/25/12


"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"

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thanks vera for the advice - i will definitely look around and thanks for th heads up about those kinds of L's..
i will come here and ask questions during every step so that i can get some good guidance.



did call h - he was actually quite receptive but said rather regretfully that he couldn't join us because he'd just arranged with a friend to go to someone's opening and didn't want to renege because the friend just had knee surgery and was looking to h for a ride there. could be he was relieved he had a good reason not to, who knows...

so s and i will go - and have a ball. we haven't been together for so many years- so this will be fun

so KD - no chance of winks tonight...


me 46 H 38
M10yrs T 11
S10
BD ow 8/11
h filed 9/25/12


"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"

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no chance of winks, eh...?

who knows what men might lurk at those movie theatres... wink

Enjoy your evening with S.

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zig Offline OP
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now now - i've got my s with me grin i'm a good mama ya know...

thanks KD, i will enjoy my evening with s -

hope you're having a great one too, friend

thanks for making me smile - i've been laughing over this conversation since it started. it's nice to have friends around that just lighten things up

oh and btw - if you haven't seen moonrise kingdom yet, try to go - that's a great one for a lot of laughing - hey who knows , maybe be some hot young chick who catches YOUR eye wink

stay well
zig


me 46 H 38
M10yrs T 11
S10
BD ow 8/11
h filed 9/25/12


"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"

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Holly cow woman! So much catching up to do on you in just a day!!!

It is great that you invited h. I know, it's crazy cracking that door open when you have been working on forgetting about the door.

I so love what kd said about the d, about it being h baby and letting him own it. It's good to be prepared, we smart girls always are wink and it's also good to be still. That black label can make the blanket sway just a little bit...better to sway with friends than spin our wheels!!

You may not even see it, but I see progress.

have a blast at the movie pretty lady!


Me-31 H-24
D3,D2
M 4 yrs
WAW(me) 12/2011
role reversal 03/2012
(H)PA 3-6/2012
(H)D filed 6/2012
D deemed "inactive", closed 8/2012
I've moved on 9/2012

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good morning zig,

i am so inspired by the compassion and grace you are showing to your H...

so much so that i have a new DB phrase in your honour...i know you saw it on my thread but i want to explain..

we all have heard about having a "zen moment"..

well, now there is a "zig moment" and it is when we are able to be so compassionate that we even are able to reassure our WAS when they are fearful and hurting about the sitch.. just like zig did in her talk this week.

AMAZING!


Me(f): 51 W: 41
DP:8 M:3 T:10
"W not happy" 7/11
D final: 8/13
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I wish I could carry all of these posts around with me all of the time.

Very inspirational zig. I don't think you only found Acceptance I think you took her and made her your b*^%# :-)


TPS
Me: 44 H: 42
M14 T17
S10 D7
10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month
21/04/12 H is 'DONE'
04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010)
July '14 H ends affair
May '15 H moves back home
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