I was married to man who I believe is Bipolar. Personality disorder at the very least - our mutual counsellor agreed. I also worried that he would be the type to do something really rash as your son spoke of and if you watch Dr Phil - the most vulnerable time is when you are splitting. And there were times when I questioned whether I was imagining what was going on because it almost seemed too bizarre. But then - I have a list of outrageous, illegal things he DID do that jeopardized our family. If you suspect in any way at all that your children might be in danger - you will have to take action. Can you take DS to a counsellor to talk about why he said that?
Your kids are not that close at all to being able to decide who to live with (or are the ages not updated on your signature line?(I suspect this). Still - this is a tough situation.
By all means - take the kids next week. I doubt she has any chance of changing things now. I assume you have shared custody. You can prove when you had them - how she handled her vacation (asking you) etc. If she feels comfortable enough leaving them with you when she is away - she can't say the opposite in court.
UGH - it is supposed to get better after a couple of years, not worse.
I don't understand why after all this time your ex thinks she can run to the courts for full custody because your now engaged.
Does she really thinks she can win or is she so out there. What will be her case against you for full custody, because you engaged now, she might be surprised at the outcome.
HMmmm....just wondering what her OMH would think if you had a recording of her saying "I Love You" to you? lol
I think she's just freaking out at the thought of losing her fallback position (as in, she could always leave OM and come running back to you if it didn't work out) and the reality of your new bride being in her kids' lives the way OMH is.
The ages on the signature was at bomb. DD is 13, DS is now 11. Friend tells me judges ask kids who they prefer to live with (and takes answer into consideration) at age13 in my state. We have "joint, shared custody" which means they live with both of us 50/50. DS and I had a long talk about tge custody thing yesterday. He doesn't want things to change.
Counselor who saw X alone for years and we later saw together says she has borderline personality. She was abused. Her father was a Federal agent who went undercover for months at a time, wore two guns and had others hidden around the house. X said when he would come back they sometimes didn't recognize him. I think he went too deep or something snapped in him. He did some bizzare, abusive stuff. X has several of his firearms. I don't think two of them can be legally posessed by individuals in the state where he lives.
At separation I noticed she was behaving like she described her father's behavior (in some respects). I'll take the kids (I always have and always will). Thanks for the suggestion of counseling. I could have filed charges against her twice during split for physical assault. The first time I just filed a police report and pictures of my bruises were taken. The second time she hit me in front of the kids and I thought involving the police would traumatize them further (questioning, possibly seeing their mother arrested) so I did nothing.
OMH's first wife was bipolar (repeated patterns within repeated patterns?). One day out if the blue X said to me, "Im not bipolar". That makes me believe he's suggested to her she is.
"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12 Bomb and OM 12/15/06 Separated 01/02/07 Divorced 05/13/08 X married OM(OMH) 08/2009 Married 06/09/13
Another skirmish in the custody wars yesterday. (I'm already really tired of this)
I went by Xs business to pick up DD. X broached the subject of "why kids should live with me". Her main argument was school (DS starts new one where he tested to gain entry, DD will have last year where she is before moving to another). I was just picking up DD and didn't expect a discussion. I remained calm but it's difficult when someone is telling you why your kids should live with them instead of you. I finally pointed out my opion that her concerns/argument was not valid because DS had straight As all year and both DS and DD daughter rocked their standardized tests at the end of the year last year.
She didn't concede but shifted slightly to kids need to be with their mother and how she can care for them better than I. I smiled at that and she asked why. I responded "I couldn't help but smile cause overheard the kids talking once and they agreed that I take care of them and you spoil them." she wasn't happy with that and tried to twist it around to her doing both.
Fiancé said she things one factor motivating X is the looming empty nest. I think there may be some validity to that as X recently said she was "struggling" with how fast the kids are growing up. It was OK to shove them to mecwhen they were little and she wanted to play with OMH but now sees they're about to grow up and wants all the time left with them for herself.
I was saddened to learn DD wants to live with X. DD is becoming a young woman and says she feels "wierd" living with me now and feels mire comfortable with her mother. Our convo was like a breakup with her beginning, "I don't want to hurt you but....."
I'm generally sick of the whole thing. Equal time with my kids was the only thing I wanted out of the D settlement. I never dreamed Id be facing this years down the road. Happy Birthday (today) to me.
"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12 Bomb and OM 12/15/06 Separated 01/02/07 Divorced 05/13/08 X married OM(OMH) 08/2009 Married 06/09/13
Monday is the first day of school. I texted DS the bus he will ride to come to my place (X has him but we have been swapping Mondays after school). DS responds his mom says he will be staying with her.
X calls shortly after that and after brief pleasantries WW3 breaks out. X is still adamant DS and DD will now stay with her (just cause she wants them to) and gives lame reasons, claims we agreed (never happened), etc, etc. I countered every lame reason she gave and pointed out that the first comment she made each time was about my fiance and her kids although she says they're not the reason. I related to her DS's question, What would you do if mom had a gun and wouldn't let me go with you?", emploring her to stop She continued to the point she finally was screaming at me and said something about "lawyer and psychologist" and hung up on me.
She called me back shortly after (well established behavior pattern of hers) but I didn't answer since she hung up on me and I'm not playing her games. She later texted the kids were afraid we would hurt each other and ended, "answer your phone" (DS had tried to call me but I was away from phone). I did return HIS call but haven't spoken to her since.
"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12 Bomb and OM 12/15/06 Separated 01/02/07 Divorced 05/13/08 X married OM(OMH) 08/2009 Married 06/09/13
She's driving around with DS in the car. She now is having him call me and telling him what to say (I could hear in the background doing so). I'm sick to my stomach. I told her what she said attempting to get her to realize what the change SHE demanded is doing to our kids. I can't believe she is doing this to him.
I've talked to someone. Our decree says joint shared custody which means 50/50 time but isn't specific as to when. I'm told that means it's whoever picks them up from school first. This sets thecstate for lots of ugly confrontations as Ive been advised all I can do is get a police officer to accompany me to her place and request kids (she isn't compelled to surrender them to me). I'll have to di this to price I attempted to get them when it does go to court.
"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12 Bomb and OM 12/15/06 Separated 01/02/07 Divorced 05/13/08 X married OM(OMH) 08/2009 Married 06/09/13
I'm sorry for all you are going through. You really need legal advice fast.
I really think you need to start your own thread. None of this is about FLTC and I believe if all the subject is about your issues - others will read and respond appropriately where possible. But not necessarily on FLTC's thread.
