And I can tell you that your fear of becoming one (and it's an appropriate fear) is creating some understandable behaviours.
You might be D, but you need to be very wary of attaching yourself to anyone due to your lonliness and fear. Especially a M woman. Please do back far away from that one, you are either entering or risk entering an EA with her.
Have you had a chance to visit with your doctor regarding anti depressants? It would be more appropriate than using self medication. It does not have to be and likely wouldn't be permanent. Just work with your doctor to see what your options are.
Take a good look at what you do to keep your mind off the sitch. Do much more of that. Also, to the best of your ability, take some time now and then to really consider what you want from your life. I mean that doesn't necessarily have to do with companionship.
When it comes to companionship, it might be worth looking at developing a few female friends who are really... JUST FRIENDS. I've found myself hanging out with some woman who are (not that this matters, but it is a valid boundary for me) 10 or more years older than myself and primarily D. Just hanging around with them and shooting the breeze helps me get that female influence in my life while I move forward.
Get yourself out of the funk, my friend.
Do you have some single, guy friends (within a reasonable age or maturity level) that you could do an "aggie tour" with? Like heading to Mexico or Puerto Rico or something this winter?
Maybe solitude? Build yourself a canoe or an ultralight or a project car?
