Any chance to make it work? I need advice

[sweetbabyred]

I'm a little down today. It's my SS's 11th birthday and he's out of town with H, so I don't get to celebrate with him. I bought him his present early so he could play with it at my place and sent H off with his card, but it's not the same as being there.

I didn't book any work for the weekend in case I was invited, but H was so PA that he never told me either way. On Thursday he just said he'd be uncomfortable and that his BF didn't think it was a good idea. I wish he'd quit taking M advice from him.

Last night I went a step further and pretty much said that I don't think I can be friends with H right now. When his other friends mistreat him, he always wants me to cheer him up or at least listen to him complain. I'd already told him a few days ago that I didn't want to do that anymore.

I'm sick and tired of H being the one to decide if/when he wants to talk to me or see me. I can't happily accept the demotion from wife/best friend to part time friend that he'll contact when he's lonely/mistreated.

It's not fair to me and I deserve better. A few months ago I couldn't stand the idea of not having H in my life, but this isn't the same man that I married. This version thinks that I should be ok hearing about all of his relationship problems, and that it shouldn't really affect me if they're not actually dating.

I'd originally told him that I'd support him, but that I couldn't try to fix him or tell him what to do because I'd realized that didn't help either one of us. Right now, I don't think I can support him right now, because I'm not getting anything in return and it's draining me.

When I first found this site almost three months ago, I'd been telling H that I would always be there for him. That his other friends might give up on him or try to use him, but he could always count on me.

I know he has depression and doesn't feel very good about himself, but I can't change that. I can't be the back up anymore. I can't save him from himself.