There are so many things wrong with this text. 1-we don't say honey to each other or any other words of endearment. 2-I never asked how he was doing so why put "I'm good"?
He's text me before when it was meant for her. However this was like a year ago. I approached him about it and the conversation spun around where I had to leave and recollect myself.
I came back apologizing that I need to direct my anger in other ways and not at him. I was bringing up resentment and I was working on that.
He said he stopped talking to her over a month ago and he worded the text wrong. I couldn't let it go so later tonite I called him and said, if that text was meant for me then prove it. Show me your cell call log. He said he'd do it but didn't think I should be doing that. He said he would just be feeding my obsession.
Things have been sooo good with us but now I feel it's time to go dark. He sounded upset when I called him out on proving it to me. He said I should ask my therapist if that's a good idea because he believes it's not. To me, these are all signs of him lying, which is why I want to go dark. I don't want to do it to get back at him. I want to do it because it's the next step when something like this happens.
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
Keep this question at the forefront of your mind whenever you interact with your H, "will what I am doing get me closer to my goal or further away?"
That particular interaction did not help you. What exactly was your intent there? To catch him in a lie?
What if the TM was meant for you? You just projected your assumption onto your H and spun the whole thing in a negative light.
You have to utilize each opportunity to demonstrate the new and improved Vero.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
You're right! That's exactly what my DB coach told me! Will this help my M/R? No it didn't.
At 3am I heard a knock at the door. It was him. Apparently he was very worried about S4 who's had fever for 3 days. H has been spending the night because I asked him to, but last night I didn't because S4 had been pretty good all day. Kinda surprised me. :-/
He's here this morning with a chip on his shoulder while I'm acting as if.
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
Gotta give the guy some credit for being a concerned father. Perhaps if you get an opportunity, thank him for coming over.
"Hey, just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate you coming over to help out with S4".
Just a thought. Stay strong.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
I feel like hiding under a rock and waiting until the mess is settled from the drama I just created.
It's ME! I create the drama!! I mean, he's not the perfect person but it's all my doing when we get into this whirlwind of drama. It feels like I get sucked in and bring him down with me.
Last night he said that he had appreciated the apology I gave him earlier in the day but when I called him last night it just sucked the life out of him. As if the apology was in vain. I'M THE ONE ON THE ROLLER COASTER!! Seriously!
I am sitting at the front of this ride and letting my emotions take me wherever they go. This minute I'm happy next depressed, then angry. Up and down and through the loops!
I'm clearer now but still feel that lump in my throat, regret!
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
You are cognizant of your behavior when it comes to your H and how it affects your sitch. Not to mention that you are taking responsibility for it. There in lies the beauty. You have control of how you interact with him.
Time to stop going down cheeseless tunnels.
You know what needs to be done. What are you going to do about it?
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
I went to an Al Anon mtg and talked about it. Took the dog for a short walk. H came home with the kids and offered to take us out to an early dinner later on. I need to find something else to do. S4 does not want to leave the house!
any ideas?
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
1) Quit creating negative situations when you interact with your H. Maybe put a rubber band on your wrist as a reminder not to allow your emotions to take over. You don't have to snap it, however it is there just as a reminder that you are about to do something that causes you emotional pain.
2) Get busy GAL with/without your children. Rent movies, take them to the park, go to a pond to feed the ducks, teach your S4 to skip rocks in the water, make mud pies, go to church if you are a believer, do a google search for activities in your area, etc.
Have your H watch your children and go do something with family or friends. Heck, go take a class from Home Depot or Lowe's.
Just throwing ideas out there for you.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
I took the kids to my sisters until H called us to go to dinner. Now I'm home. It's 7pm and I'm having a hard hard time! I thought he wouldn't send me these accidental texts anymore. I want to yell at him until he fesses up that they were not meant for me!
This is what I plan to do. Make a quick snack for the kids. Bathe them. Put them to bed and read meditation books, journal, bible, pray.
God help me. This is such a struggle for me right now. I KNOW that text wasn't for me!
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
I turned off the phones and had a very relaxing night. Put the kids to bed early and focused on me. Just what I needed. However I need to continue it throughout the day if I want to keep my sanity. I feel the emotions throughout my body and I have to work to shake them off.
It's hard when I have 2 little ones that are depending on me.
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
