He tends to sweeten up before dropping something negative/D-related. I feel fairly detached but the swings like that still aren't easy. I'm not sure how to navigate our relationship given that he still wants to be friends (feared losing me in that way) but I don't really want his friendship given how he had acted and is acting. I have a hard time not slipping back into the backtalk/smartmouth nasty person I am trying not to be anymore. I am trying to view our R as a business transaction only at this point.
Financially i'm not worried about getting dragged down; our stuff was already pretty separate. But it's irritating to hear him talk about planning to buy an ipad or travel to wherever when I am trying to save for trying to take the house on my own. The splitting of stuff which we are just wading into now is really pulling on my insecurities over being financially stable and independent.
My path right now is becoming fully financially independent. Getting the house solely in my name and getting set up for a renter. There are a few wildcards (appraisal value on the house as the primary one) that are causing some anxiety bc they are unknown. I don't see a fixed M with stbx as a realistic goal or even something I want anymore.
