a new perspective

[strongerthanever]

I almost hesitate to write this, as it is solution oriented, and being solution oriented would hint that I have expectations or hope, which I don't.

HOWEVER... I spent some time reflecting on the past years of my M in terms of what works and what doesn't-the basic blocks of DB. Me, being the co-dependant, fixer type, always wanted to be the hero. Well, being the hero doesnt work here. Neither does being the fixer or the all accomidating friend.

What has worked in the past in terms of our R is me doing absolutly nothing. Which is awesome, bc that's what I have been doing (ok, minus the sex and the email, you got me there, but no more). So now I'm REALLY at a place where I don't feel the slightest bit guilty about turning the focus completly on me vs him or us.

This time last year his ow #1 and her 4 yr old daughter were living in my basement, with H. I'll be damned if I spend another winter participating in this R while its on life support. This isn't coming from anger guys, it's coming from acceptance of what does not work, what is unhealthy for me and love/respect for myself.

This woman is a walker. If he really wants me he better catch up.