New to DB

[hopefulinga]

You're right, it is. I am utterly disappointed and upset about something that I was really excited about that I have been shut out of. Again. First it was the plane that we bought in February that I've yet to be in, then it was the bike. So, that's what the fight was about. I blew up. I get all excited and get behind the purchases of the toys and can't enjoy them. I used to not do that. I was more unsupportive and dream crushing. That didn't work either.

Sometimes I feel like no matter which direction I go, it's not right or not enough. I'm practical, he's a dreamer.

And I think last night was just another realization that my hopes and dreams of things we could do together as a couple, without any of his friends hanging on, are coming to a halt. And it hurts. And he knows it.

I will work on my 180 list. Some of the obvious things are easy to identify. 180ing this type of thing is a little harder to grasp. Right now, I am so overwhelmed with work, emotions, and everything else in my life.

I read some of your older posts about your sitch and can identify with them. Some of this private behavior, I think, is to drive me out the door so that he can run to everone and say, poor me, how could she leave me. I already know that he tells peole how evil I can be. And those that get to know him come back to me and tell me that and then tell me they know that he is more of the problem than me. He wants the D, but has told me to find the mediator, draw up a separation agreement, move out.

You've given me food for thought. I'm looking forward to my weekend away and will try to make good use of my time.