you folks keep this up and they will start the next culling.... which is so sad.
As this is truly what DB is about.
Employing tough love.
When I read her books this is what I get out of it.
Somehow it has been twisted on her forums. Which is unfortunate.
I don't think the views expressed here are inconsistent with DB. When you boil it all down and put the plethora of techniques MWD advocates into practice ... Tis is what u get.
Detachment is key to DBing. MWD advocates detaching as a strategy to allow us to focus on ourselves and what we need rather than obsessing about what the spouse is up to. Detaching helps us get to a place where we can see and control those things that are within our control (ourselves & our own behavior) and those which are outside our control (everything & everyone else!).
GAL - Getting a Life ... Another fundamental DB principle which is all about putting the focus back on yourself. Of course the consequence of GAL is often that you become more attractive to the WAS, The mystery may stir a little bit of jealosy and early on I think GAL can b confused with getting a reaction, but applied consistently GAL helps us remember or learn who we are and what drives us outside of the marriage relationship.
I could go on, but you guys know what I mean? Yes? Traveling through a marriage crisis and using the principles MWD espouses, changing our relationship by changing ourselves, often does mean we come to understand that we'll be ok married to our partner or not. We come to understand our own value and can hold out for it. When we learn that kind of respect for ourselves ... Well, the rest just kind of falls into place.
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
