Hi Inga, I saw your post in Nero's thread so thought I would take a look at your sitch.
Some Day did give you great advice. You mentioned in Nero's thread that your H obviously still thinks you're pursuing. And you are likely correct based on his "smothering" comment.
Above you talk about doing something different and about doing more of the same.
So lets go down that thought process:
+ What is more of the same?
+ What bothers you about less contact?
+ What do you think you might try, different?
While you do not want to go into the negative feeling and while you may be correct that, at 56, your H is unlikely to get involved with someone who is pregnant with someone else' child...
Do you know what an EA is?
Because it does sound like that is what is going on. It may not get physical. Still, he's obviously "taken" by this woman and feels like he can "save" her. I think this is certainly one of the reasons why EAs happen.
Also, you could be right that your H is in MLC. Or at the very least, he could be in a transition. So the possibility of him transferring his emotional needs from you to others (such as this woman or his friends) is certainly likely.
Have you read through the MLC forum and seen some of the reading material?
The work in many cases is the same. One of the more obvious clues is acting younger or some of the classic MLC behaviours that people joke about as is confusion. Your H being on again and off again with you cooking does suggest confusion.
There are some minor differences, but otherwise the work is the same.
GAL will be important for you and help with your PMA. It will also help towards giving him yet more space. Go out as often as possible, even if it is just for coffee at a friends or the library or a walk. This may create an air of mystery to you that your H might notice.
Words aren't the only thing that a WAS might see as "smothering". It could be cooking his meals makes him feel smothered. Or just your presence. The sight of you, your smell... He gets confused because its familiar and he may like it and then he feels pressure. It may not be you... the pressure could just as easily be coming from inside himself.
So again...
What might you do that is different? How can you change the sitch so that he can't do more of the same?
