Should I initiate R talk?

[25yearsmlc]

agreed....

there's too much guesswork in your approach b/c you think by reading stuff here that it'll all sink in.

It won't. We can help SUPPORT your DBing efforts but you have to "get" the fundamentals first, for us to support your efforts, and those are in the book. I recall a woman here posting for MONTHS and making so little progress in her efforts (mostly aimed at changing her partner)

and she'd quote OTHER books she read and talked about what THOSE books taught her...and never ever got the DB or Divorce Remedy book...and she's single for good now. Her last post sounded A LOT like her first one...

she Learned very little b/c she wanted it to come fast and easy and be super intuitive and she basically got lazy, or really wanted to "be right"...imo.

I know you are not lazy, but you are skipping THE main step.

Did you find Chapter one online here? You can.

And for God's sake, get the book mailed to you. I cannot imagine it being so difficult--you are in a land where they have internet and you have a mailing address right?

I mean I've been overseas in combat areas and I'm pretty sure I could have gotten the book by now.

Sorry to hammer you on this but you're taking a short cut in an area that needs a thorough understanding of the approach.

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OTherwise, most of what happened sounds good. Especially if you can find some reliable source of income.

As for your d, did you read my post? That advice came from our mc and he stressed that I should NOT say the word divorce unless I was 100% sure it was happening and even then, NOT too far in advance. IT's like a guillotine hanging over their heads.

IF and when the time comes, you give her a week or two to adjust and see what else the c says.

Honestly I think your d feels really unsettled right now --and I understand why. You ALL are living in boarding houses.

As a former military member and wife, w/17 moves w/children, I can tell you that is a chronic stresser that just depletes emotional resources.
It's literally and figuratively unsettling...24/7.

And her toys are all at other's homes?

That makes me sad. Get your d settled SOMEWHERE asap. talk happily about her having her own room, etc...what will she want to do with it if she can paint it or hang posters, etc.

Give her something to look forward to...and

get the book.