New to DB

[hopefulinga]

It does, thanks for the insight. I did find the 37 rules and printed them. I bought DB at lunch today, so I will re-read DR and start DB.

Since the D bomb, I do not call him during the day unless urgent (one of his big complaints). I will text instead. If he responds, good, if not, I let it go. I'm trying to really listen and understand instead of throwing in my 2 cents and being critical. I realize that I listen to my clients and try to help them, but I don't always listen to H. I do always try to fix, because that's what I do for a living, instead of just listening and being understanding.

I am also learning from my mistakes. I know that I can accept and understand his point of view and feelings but not have to agree. I have to learn to trust again. I have to give up control. I thought I had, but I don't think so.

GAL is hard with my kid at home. I've always had to get a babysitter to do things, which takes the fun out of it. I've got to work on that. I'm also trying to make friends with some of her friends' moms.

Cherishing the small steps, any posititive response. I can still see the pain in his eyes, and I'm sorry I hurt him so much. We've never been good at talking. He is quick to get upset and I am quick to escalate on his escalation until it is a shouting match.