However, 2, just for you. This morning I took an extra half hour and made our MBR and bathroom look spiffy. I MADE the bed. Which we never do. I just kept looking to see if the room looked like a nice place to be, and cleaned it until it did. I almost took a picture for fb. I saved the dishes because I had to get to work, but after work with the extra time bought by H not coming directly home, I did get all the pots and pans washed and shined up the kitchen island and put some fruit out. I kept thinking, would this look nice to come home to, and cleaned until I thought it did.
I mainly did it because of a conversation with 2 recently, but I also did it for H. It was a little deflating to have it not noticed, but the lack of criticism is high praise in this situation. So I'll take it that I did good. I also straightened up the living room until I saw that it would look comfortable to sit on the couch (ie, no remotes, pocketknives, lacrosse gloves, or shoes on the couch) - and H did sit there when he got home so I was glad I made the effort.
What I think of this is it's exercising my interest in extending myself for my spouse, as opposed to bending over backwards to please him. It's more about pleasing myself by being a giving person. I feel like one of my flaws that I'm working on is to be more naturally giving. So it doesn't really matter if I get no reward from H.
A,
Why did you not do this stuff for yourself?
Personally, I am a bit of an OCD neatfreak.
What that means to me, is that when I clean, I'm crazy about it. Everything has to be just so, so it is like spring cleaning everyday.
Something that has happened to me in recent years, is that there are days when I just can't do it, so I don't. Which means that very little gets done by me. In general, it makes me feel badly about myself when I allow myself to slack.
I am working on coming to a point where I can do SOME and be happy with it, because the reality of life is that I don't have the time to be compulsive about it every day (I never really did and that is probably why I was so tired all of the time).
My point is this (sorry for the ramble)...
While my SO appreciates it and actually prefers it when I go into "clean mode", I don't do it for him. I do it because it is how I want things to be and a happy side effect is that it makes him happy and keeps his frustration level lower. There is nothing like coming home from work to a clean house. It gives you a few moments to just breath.
So tell me, does the clutter bother you? What are your feelings about the unmade bed? Do you feel differently when it's clean?
And please, don't tell me how your H feels, or how you feel based on his reaction...
How did you feel before he got home?
Is this something worth continuing for YOU?
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
