Need help with detaching and hoping to reconcile.

[lillystillinlove]

MC today, I almost held it together through the whole thing. When we discussed what, if anything have I told friends. Well really not too much, I've explained that all I've said to anyone that matters is that we are having problems and if I expressed more, I never cast H in a bad light. IMO,In the grand scheme of things my offence to the marriage (severe depression) is easier to forgive when it comes to the outside observer. I said that I suffered from severe depression and H finally had enough and he is having a difficult time, rightfully so, figuring out if he will want to remain in and save our marriage. My intention is to preserve his relationships and friendships should we reconcile or to not damage his "reputation" (not sure if that's the right word) if we don't for the sake of my son, he doesn't need that burden. This discussion made me cry, but not to the point of an anxiety attack, not really sure why I was upset. It might have been that he doesn't believe me. My H's concern is that friends, that the other couple and we have in common, are aware of the details. He concedes that, because of social media (if they are observant and notice "friendship" status changes), that they figured it out and if they haven't they are idiots. I said, calmly, that if they do, nothing was said to me and I haven't confirmed anything that was done by you (EA+). I know this is hard for him but I can't do or say anything else about it. He still doesn't believe me and I say you know there are 2 other people involved and "they" sent their 2 Ds to spend 3 weeks with one of the couples he's concerned about knowing. I know talking about him again right! My point here is that, even though I cried, I handled the situation a lot better than I would have previously. Much calmer, not accusatory, no yelling, no anger, and even though I cried I'm happy about how I acted in the MC.

I also let him do a lot of the talking today and listened, he has a lot more anger to workout that I do right now. I think if we can focus in that direction we'll get further than continuing to argue about the past and play the blame game in MC.

I think H is taking S for Sat & Sun so what GAL activities can I come up with...

I'll let you know...