A Huddle of Turtles

[strongerthanever]

Zig,

I think it is amazing how you do not drop your world for H when he decides to show up. Just remember your inner peace, let that be your rock, your lighthouse. No one can shake that or take that away from you.

Even in the presence of H. I know that feeling of H being near, and I can almost see his awkward uneasy vibe. But I let him own and swim in that, and I just vision myself with a cleansing, serene soft white glow radiating from me. No one can alter the way I choose to feel in any given moment.

I use the same trick J mentioned, about having something lined up to do after meeting with H. I would plan a shopping trip, lunch with a friend of a visit to a bakery/ice cream store and REALLY hype it up for me. So in my head it was like, "I'm so excited to go to _____, but first I have to stop and see H real quick". It really works.

I really want to talk about the D real quick. I was so paranoid the day I got served by the sheriff. Thank goodness I never mentioned it to H. I'm pretty sure he wondered if I even got served, bc I acted as if it hadnt happened whenever we interacted. Anyhow, here I am 2 months later and so much has changed.

We have even gone to court already for our initial status confrence. And you know what? Nothing has happened since. I seriously blew everything up in my head and now I look back and laugh at the mini crisis I created for myself. So much time I wasted in my head reacting to H's filing, which now comes across more as a temper tantrum.

In 2 weeks the case will be closed and dropped due to lack of forward motion. I have never discussed what needed to happen, I just figured I would let him lead and then respond as necessary.

It is beyond obvious that you have your stuff together (yes, you do), while H is swimming circles. IF the talk really is D related, don't overplay it in your head. Stay serene, leave him to his tantrum and focus on YOU. You got this girl.

((((( <3 )))))