Piecing- going the distance, from a distance

[cruiserrg]

OK, back to the faith thing....
I asked God to help me this morning. I told him I was having a hard time with feeling like in the end this was all going to work out for us being together. Ya know what God, I would really like that sooner rather than later. I waiver in my thought that we will create a new R together because I am afraid of being hurt. If I go all the way out on the tight rope and then H stays in the tunnel that hurts. I also wonder, what if I DON"T have faith am I writing my own future? I have the following taped to my PC monitor: Whatever you believe - with conviction - becomes your reality I DO believe, just don't want to hurt anymore. Is that contradictory?

I am with Tal today, I'm sorry to bring all this to everyone who also has their own trial and tribulations to deal with. It used to be that when something would hurt me I would turn to H and we would work through it. I wish I could do that now and have him understand.

Again, my apologies for being all over the board, it is just the unknown that is killing me!

Wise words? Lightning bolts of revelation?

Water,

Many of us our in the same boat and totally understand these feelings. I wrote a bit in talista's thread about this and I think you are taking the right approach to seek God's Divine help with this. I know its the only way I can deal with the feelings and fears.

I know that for a long time I will have fear my R and M not working out, even though its going in a much better direction than a few weeks ago.

I have thought long and hard about this, and continue every day to ask God for the strength to continue. I guess to me there is never going to be a guarantee that my M will last forever. I know it does help me some to remember that I had some of these same fears (although not jaded by my W actions and betrayals) when I asked my W to marry me and they were strong for some time even after we got married.

Getting married to my W was a "leap of faith" saying that I love to so much that I will risk the hurt of it not working out just to have the opportunity to share a loving marriage and life with you. We are in the same place now, but its even harder because we are not naive about the realities of relationships.

Ultimately we still have to make the "leap of faith" that things will work out, and even if they don't you will be thankful for just the opportunity. Nothing in this life is guaranteed, and you have to make a decision to love the one you are with each and every day.

I chose to take the chance of getting hurt even more, because I am willing to risk that to find love in my M again. I do this for me and for my W, just as I would give my life for hers.

I hope this helps you as well. Remember God is with you on this bumpy road walking right next to you. Reach out you hand and grasp his already stretched out hand to guide and comfort you along the way.