MLC with depression....double the fun!

[albamarie]

Today H's EA crap called my cell. She likes to do that to say H needs to stop coming around and then she proceeds to make sure I relies information is current.

DLS-wrote on another thread: Standing in and being strong in the face of this affair, allows him to build up his EGO in this over time. The longer you hang in there, the bigger and stronger the EGO that thinks it's ok to cheat on his wife gets. You can deflate it or minimize it by getting out of the picture, not helping him, and mean it.

Wow! That really hit home for me. I am standing tall in the face of H's need have an OW in his life. Standing my ground, that's what I think I'm doing.

H did say he's amazed at how much he seems to be getting away with doing what he wants a few months back.

I can't not help him because I run the business. I control the work flow and money. I pay everything and maintain the account.

H said if I stopped it would hurt me because he just wont work. His MLC, depression, what ever, gives him this power by believing he can just give up on life.

The more I'm nicely out of his way, the nicer he is at home and to me personally. What is there to "come back to" he's cake eating.

Then EA crap makes sure I know it was that Fri (with his new jeans) on the front seat of MY SUV, that she dowsed the inside with beer. Or, he stopped by with those "new glasses".

Then I think I'm such a lonely pathetic door mat. Thinking how nice I need to be, or how I need to listen and validate him.

He comes home tired, stinky, curls up in a ball with depression while he maybe spent the early part of that morning walking the beach with EA crap. Why, because he needs the camaraderie. I'm too pure! The kids are good! Our home is too comfortable!

I just bought a new phone and found an app that will finally reject her messages. Some of which I put in my itune folder first because she threatens to have H beat in the head on the street with a bat.

Does he not leave because "we are what's safe and familiar"? H says this is his family and even if he left it will always be his family, he trust me more than his own mom. He'll come back, he's not trying to leave us, but himself.

H keeps insisting he wants to go off in his own direction, but know one here is stopping him. He says I should let him go, but I did, I'm not his obstacle.

Am I his crutch?