As always, it’s great to hear from both of you. Carnac, you nailed it, the hints have been dropped by W over time. In terms of doing what works. Things have seemed very much status quo with W over the last couple weeks. I am having a really hard time gauging what is or isn’t working. Doing some minor, thoughtful and caring acts might be helping. They seem to bring out W’s emotions a bit. When W see’s the caring side of me is when she starts to open up. I view these as “acts of service”. A couple examples would be to ask W if she needs anything from the store when I am on my way to drop the kids off at her apartment. It’s important for me to do these acts of service when the opportunity knocks. They need to be subtle and timed appropriately. Another example would be for me to take the kids to their doctors appointments. The things that make life a bit easier for W.
Arsene-
I don’t know if angry is the right word. I am sad and hurt but I wouldn’t say angry. I think what you might be sensing is my somewhat stoic attitude, maybe a little hardened or guarded. I think some of it might also be some of the DB principles. For the most part, I’ve taken on a “all business” approach when communicating and interacting with W. Don’t get me wrong, I ask her “how’s it going” and “how are you doing” but I don’t show a lot of depth. I think she would like to have more information from me in regards to what I’ve been up to and how I am feeling. I rarely have much to say since she doesn’t ask me the questions directly. Maybe I should start acting slightly more loving. W’s also a big planner. On the flipside, I am someone who fly’s by the seat of my pants. For W everything needs to be organized, an agenda, how’s the schedule going to look, etc….She also feels I need to be more responsible. I need to find ways to incorporate some of this stuff.
Thank you very much for sharing your 180’s. They’re very helpful because I need to start implementing more of them.
