Hi, IP, I was wondering how you were. Sorry to hear you are having so much trouble with moving forward. I still to this day, do not know if my H and ow had a PA, or if it was EA. He said it was not PA, but correspondence makes me think otherwise. So, I felt I had to either let things stay as they were, or let him keep his lie (if it is one)to himself and move forward as if I DID know everything. As time has gone on, I have not found anything to make me feel he is backsliding. No contact, nothing. So, for me, to let it go, as much as I wanted not to, was a good choice. He did slip up a number of times over the years, before he straightened up. Like chatterbox, I could not stand his touch or his kiss, made me want to scrub myself. He is being very good, now, though, thank God.
Have you thought of telling your H that he is not helping things along as you would wish? Ask him why he won't come out with the complete truth. If he is still contacting ow in any way, what are you prepared to do? Maybe you should become your own detective, so you can find out just exactly what IS going on. And, is he reading your body language? That you are grossed out by him right now?
I hope you can figure out how to do what is best for you, I know you don't want to have your M fall apart like this.
