I read your post earlier this morning and then went to the gym and pondered it some more.
Of course it always seems there are more questions than answers.
One of the things that has been taking up a lot of my brain today is respect. Again, I am trying to put myself in the shoes of my H. If I had done the things he has done and is now feeling about them, would I respect me for continuing to love him?
He has even said to me that he is not "mate worthy". That he doesn't want to lead me on, because he has made such bad choices in the past and will probably do so for the rest of his life.
If he feels so low about himself and the things that he has done, what are his feelings about why I continue to love him and continue to want to build a new R with him? Does it almost make it worse that I continue to reassure him that I am still here and not wanting to give up? Does that become a safty net?
On the other hand, is it deep down for him a wonderful feeling that I am still here and still willing to love him? Does that make HIM feel even worse? Does it give him a sense of security or give him even more to feel guilty for? Kind of like, "I've done all this that I feel bad for, she still loves me and now I feel bad for that too" ??
Quote: Keep reassuring your husband no matter how tired you get of doing that until he feels secure with himself once again. He will get there. The Lord is working on him and he is healing him on area at a time.
How do I do this without R talks? I am just being his friend, being happy and supportive. Just doesn't seem like enough. Maybe it is enough for him, but because it isn't happening fast enough that I feel it isn't enough for me. I want to hold him and tell him that everything will be alright. That he can trust me and love me.
