Just keep listening to the things that he is telling you. It is good that you took that time to look at yourself through his eyes. You will have a better understanding of where he is coming from and look how excited he got because you understood.
That had to have been a great relief to him. To know that you took the time to understand him and see what he was talking about. That is a great connection for the two of you.
Like everyone keeps telling you, there is nothing that you can do about the past but there is plenty that you can do about the future. God is showing you things that caused part of the breakdown in the marriage. He isn't showing you in order to bring you down, but to help heal the marriage and bring your relationship back together.
You don't need to know every detail that happened during that time with your husband, but you guys do need to talk about the things that you guys are talking about. He is in depression and withdrawal and he is seeing himself for the first time just like you saw yourself through his eyes.
He is experiencing things that you will never understand and the best way for you to help him is by listening and validating his feelings. You don't want to go back down those cheeseless tunnels and you don't want him to feel like you are judging him for what he did during that time.
This is going to be the hard part for you and that is going to be accepting him and accepting everything that he tells you. Treating him with forgiviness, kindness, patience and unconditional love. This is the road that brings you guys back together and heals you both.
You like everyone else get excited because you are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and you want everything right now. It takes time to heal from all the things that have happened. Take that time in order for you both to heal completely. Pray that the Lord will heal your husband's heart completely and bring him back whole to you.
You are a part of that process and he is reaching out to you, but at the same time, he is scared. That is normal because he is being reminded of everything that he has done and trust me, those pictures are not the greatest to look at. Even you know that now because you experienced it yourself with looking at yourself with a different set of eyes.
I went through the very same thing and it hurts something awful to see yourself the way someone else sees you. That is very much what your husband is going through right now. Everytime you validate his feelings and everytime you build him up and let him know that you appreciate him, you are helping him to heal and get through this.
Eventually most things are going to come out because in order for him to completely heal, he will have to ask you for your forgiveness. Just as you will have to ask for his, if you haven't already, for the part that you played in all of this.
You both are doing very well, it is just something new that you are learning and learning something new is always difficult. They go back and forth quite a bit during this time as well. If you haven't read the Six Stages of MLC, go read it because it will help you alot to understand where your husband is and what he is going through right now.
Things are actually going well with you guys, but it is hard to see it when you are wanting the whole pie and having to settle for just a slice. I know, because I have done that many times myself and the Lord reminds me to slow down that it is coming, but in his timing and not in mine.
Keep reassuring your husband no matter how tired you get of doing that until he feels secure with himself once again. He will get there. The Lord is working on him and he is healing him on area at a time.
