Thanks for responding - I find it a difficult topic too!
H did go to counselling with me a few times and on his own when the it was suggested by her. He has been very up and down with the recovery process to be honest. He is trying really, really hard to be better with the kids which was one thing I wasn't happy with regardless of his EA/PA and is being very patient but then sometimes has a blow out and says he's leaving because he can't take it being ~%~% anymore! This obviously sets me back big time as I just don't feel secure! He is always very apologetic after he's calmed down and says he didn't mean it and said it in anger but even so it hurts.
As far as healing me goes - no I don't think he has. He has basically taken the stance from the beginning (backed up by the counsellor) that I have to heal myself and that there isn't anything he can do as he cannot prove he hasn't had PA.
I've tried to overcome it on my own and I've tried to get him involved by talking it through and asking what he thinks we should do to get past this but he isn't great at discussions. I've asked him to read DB but he just says he doesn't see how the answer can be in a book despite the fact that I used it successfully when he left me 6 years ago!
Yes, my H does know that it is all an issue.
I'm not really sure if it would change anything if it turned out to be a PA - I'm very confused in that area.
I talk to my H about it all and all of my feelings so there isn't a problem with talking to him - although he doesn't always give a great response - it's just that it has been over a year now and I guess I feel like we should be moving forward from the "just cohabiting parents" phase we have been in since I found out and more towards being a proper R again.
