The only thing you have control over is YOURSELF. Make yourself into the best man and father you can possibly be. IF there's a chance for reconciliation with your ex, that will only happen by you showing these consistent changes over a long time. If there's NOT going to be a reconciliation (and let's face it, you might have burned those bridges - we can't possibly know) - then you will STILL benefit by having become a better person and will attract a better future partner.
Work on your stuff, get whatever help you need to figure out why you did the things you did in your marriage. Be humble and admit to her that you screwed up. Be her best friend and don't put any pressure on her.
