i didn't mean fix her phone and email. I meant stay pleasant calm detached and walk away.
you don't have to fix her phone - just tell her pleasantly that you are sorry that her phone died but you are sure that if she contacts the phone company that they can help her right away to get it working again.
the same with the email.
not with anger or resentment, but just as you would to a friend - a distant friend!
If she was mad this morning then I can just imagine the state SHE's going to be in when she finds out that I did something else she wasn't expecting.
sh!t mac - this is the kind of stuff that is keeping you in a f'ing bad place!!
it's like you are trying to one-up her every chance you get? is that what one does to someone they supposedly love? are you just in this to "win" to "show" her?
quite thinking like this - and NO you can't imagine how she is going to feel if this or if that!!
you are only supposed to focus on how you feel and act. detaching is about taking the focus OFF HER!!
I've got lots do do around the house which she's avoiding doing. Like cooking, washing and making the beds after a full day at work! I'll manage. I've done it before and I'll do it again.
and will you PLEASE lose the martyr attitude - it's very unattractive to her, and self-impeding to you. it keeps you in a depressed state, unable to make choices that are beneficial to your own PMA
I'm hoping she'll go to her old home town down the coast this weekend to see more family. More family who will not support her in this but will listen if she has anything to say. She's totally on her own in this.
stop hoping for this or that from her. stop focusing on the fact that nobody supports her - it doesn't matter and makes no difference in what she is or isn't going to do!!
ranting is a good sign from her. I can see the old W buried away behind that anger. Walking away will surprise the heck out of her as she'll be expecting me to join in the fray. Not going to happen.
IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!!
we lbs's, until we detach looooove looking to these sorts of details as signs of hope. they keep you on the roller coaster going up and down up and down. you're still focusing on what you can do to change her mind with some strategy or tactic
GIVE IT UP!!
and the passing thing - i didn't meant the whole sitch, you nut, i meant her ranting and raving about the phone and email!! stop looking for hope from her, until she hands it to you on a plate as in i want to work this out.
start looking for hope for yourself only and figure out how to go about it. lose the fantasy, part of you is banking on how things went last time and that she'll come back like last time.
seriously mac, if i was anywhere near you right now, you would be feeling the whack!!
wake up , sweet man, and take care of yourself, ok? (and that does NOT include taking care of your wife right now)
(((( )))) zig
ps -maybe it's time for a visit to the picnic for you?? we give 2x4's there as needed too, but they are softened with a shot of this or that...
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
