T~ I don't know, I got snapped at yesterday in the morning.... heaven forbid me show concern for his well being, he was pretty sick, looked and sounded horrible, and apparently me asking if I could get him anything was wrong because he snapped at me, "I'll be fine Heather!" (Wow he actually used my name.) I know, I know, wtf was I thinking trying to be empathic and kind, I'm such a bitch like that! LOL I'll do the only thing I can do, keep waiting, and praying and GAL.
professorfiancee~I'm glad you are able to laugh (and cry or be angry, or any other emotion we may feel through this) with me, it's good to know one isn't the one experiencing life in an alternate universe. I'm glad something good is coming out of this, if I can make anyone laugh or feel better in anyway then this whole crazy mess is a little bit less painful. That being said, I'm sorry you find yourself on this crazy roller coaster! I've been thinking, I will probably never ride another roller coaster again!! LOL j/k, I know those roller coasters have an end where I get off and everything is ok after all the ups and downs and twists and turns!! HAHA
Detaching is hard, I feel like that part is always a work in progress for me, but I'm getting better at it day by day. I also firmly believe H does things to try to get me mad, or fish for info, but I don't take the bait.... hence venting here, so I can plaster a smile on my face in front of him during some of the more annoying times. On the up side a lot lately I'm just like whatever, his choice, he has to deal with the consequences, not my problem.
You are doing good professorfiancee, as far as packing up his stuff, don't worry about his feelings, he sure isn't worried about yours! If it makes you feel better then good.
Tales of the Traveling Toothbrush, etc: Toothbrush still firmly planted on far side of the sink, must not get near my toothbrush, who knows what could happen, results could be disastrous!! I've already mentioned H being sick yesterday, he apparently came home from work early because he was here when I got home yesterday. In an effort to GAL and be mysterious my dear friend and I devised a plan.... Here's what we did. I picked her up around 6, H saw me leave. We went to the store, I picked up some OJ and Coke for H since he's not feeling well (again, I'm just so evil like that, darn being a good person!) Then I took her back to her house, went home put the stuff away. Went back to the computer and H came in, said something about he didn't want to steal the tv from me, if I wanted it I could use it (again, I don't really watch much tv these days...) I told him have at it and said btw I bought you some OJ and Coke. He looked startled and said you didn't have to do that... I told him I know but he looked so sick I felt bad and I hope he feels better. He mumbled thank you and then retreated to the living room. So after a bit I went and changed and my friend came and picked me up around 8 (H still doesn't know she has a new car so he has no idea who I went with if he looked out the window). H saw me getting ready because he came into the bathroom to brush his teeth while I was combing my hair. I'm sure the wheels were turning in his head. I didn't get home until 2:30am, again, unusual behavior for me on a work night, but he didn't know I have off today (last day of use it or lose it time). I'm sure he will be out late tonight, seems to be his pattern when I am. LOL For all the unpredictability of MLC there are still some predictable parts.... LOL
I was just re-reading this, and I have to fix my one sentence, or it's going to drive me crazy..... it should read: it's good to know one isn't the only one experiencing life in an alternate universe.
Hi hrm134, I was wondering what it means when you start to find your spouses behavior to be just pitiful and predictable? I went through two days of crying intermittently and then I stumbled on MLC for Dummies. I found it hilarious! And so true! God, I don't know why it took me so long to find that posting. Does this mean I am progressing on detachment? Sure, I know I will feel differently tomorrow or in 5 minutes or whenever he decides to act out again but for now, I am just laughing my a** off. Ok for the funny story I wanted to share with you since you are sharing the toothbrush tales with all of us. I was living in Chicago while I finished grad school at 40 while the cuckoo (46) taught college in another state. When we split, I went down there to get my things from the apartment there. He gave me back a portrait of the two of us. Fine, ok, had a hickey and a new girlfriend 21+ years younger the same day, a student of his. Can you say lame and predictable? Can you say weak and stereotypical? Well, anyhow, we kept talking, nuclear wars, fighting, over the next several weeks including a big blow out where he threatened to kill me. Very mature? Anyhow, we have been talking the whole time he is staying with the child, friendlier talk over time, and now he wants the picture back??? WTF??? His reasoning is that he gave it to me because he did not want it then, but he never said he did not want it permanently... Would someone tell me-am I as stupid and demented as he says I am or is this just f'ing crazy?
Hi hrm134, I was wondering what it means when you start to find your spouse's behavior to be just pitiful and predictable? I went through two days of crying intermittently and then I stumbled on ML for Dummies. I found it hilarious! And so true! I don't know why it took me so long to find that posting. Does this mean I am progressing on detachment? Sure, I know I will feel differently tomorrow or in 5 minutes or whenever he decides to act out again but for now, I am just laughing my a** off. Ok for the funny story I wanted to share with you since you are sharing the toothbrush tales with all of us. I was living in Chicago while I finished grad school at 40 while the cuckoo (46) taught college in another state. When we split, I went down there to get my things from the apartment there. He gave me back a portrait of the two of us. Fine, ok, had a hicky and a new girlfriend 21+ years younger the same day, a student of his. Can you say lame and predictable, weak and stereotypical? Well, anyhow, we kept talking, nuclear wars (one message was a series of 52 F*** You"s from him)(What a good role model for students)One degenerated into a threat to kill me. Very mature. Anyhow, we have been talking (2-5 hours a day)the whole time he is staying with the child, friendlier talk over time, and now he wants the picture back??? Really? His reasoning is that he gave it to me because he did not want it THEN, but he NEVER said he did not want it ever... Would someone tell me-am I as stupid and demented as he says I am or is this just monkey crazy? Now just called to say he is coming out here to spend time with me in about an hour-woo hoo lucky me!
Hi hrm134, I was wondering what it means when you start to find your spouses behavior to be just pitiful and predictable? I went through two days of crying intermittently and then I stumbled on MLC for Dummies. I found it hilarious! And so true! God, I don't know why it took me so long to find that posting. Does this mean I am progressing on detachment? Sure, I know I will feel differently tomorrow or in 5 minutes or whenever he decides to act out again but for now, I am just laughing my a** off. Ok for the funny story I wanted to share with you since you are sharing the toothbrush tales with all of us. I was living in Chicago while I finished grad school at 40 while the cuckoo (46) taught college in another state. When we split, I went down there to get my things from the apartment there. He gave me back a portrait of the two of us. Fine, ok, had a hickey and a new girlfriend 21+ years younger the same day, a student of his. Can you say lame and predictable? Can you say weak and stereotypical? Well, anyhow, we kept talking, nuclear wars, fighting, over the next several weeks including a big blow out where he threatened to kill me. Very mature? Anyhow, we have been talking the whole time he is staying with the child, friendlier talk over time, and now he wants the picture back??? WTF??? His reasoning is that he gave it to me because he did not want it then, but he never said he did not want it permanently... Would someone tell me-am I as stupid and demented as he says I am or is this just f'ing crazy?
Hey Prof, why not make your own thread so your story won't be lost in someone else's?
As for stupid and demented or f'ing crazy?
IF you're the LBS of an MLCer, you're a little of all three at various points in this. : )
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
professorfiancee- sorry i didnt reply sooner, attempting an MLC free weekend, more on that later, typing this reply from my phone. I'm still laughing about him wanting the picture back!!! Goes to show how crazy they can be! I think we all have to be a little crazy to deal with all they dish out. I don't know if I'd be spending so much time talking to him, it's nice he wants to spend time with you, I don't know what I would do if H said that or indicated that in anyway. The death threat concerns me.... But we did locally just have a guy kill his ex her bf and his mother all because she didn't answer his phone call and he wanted to see his child... So I might be a bit more sensitive to those comments right now...
Yikes! I always keep in the back of my mind what is going to happen if H totally snaps? I tell my family, friends and co-workers that if I dont show up call the cops! I am only half joking.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Yeah wishing, hoping that's always a scary thought..... hope it never happens to anyone though...
So my MLC free weekend consisted of some very late nights, but I had a LOT of fun!!! I was mostly able to put crazytown out of my mind, but it's always kind of there. My dear friend and I decided to go to my mom and her husbands restaurant on Friday night(it's almost 2 hours away), ran into my brother, his GF, a friend of his and his GF. So it was like a little mini reunion! It was great to see them all, I don't see my brother often because of his crazy work schedule. They invited us to go to some bar with them after, we ended up meeting them there, but we didn't really like the place or the music so we told them we would get together again soon, but at a different bar if that is what they would like. They were cool with that, my brother said they went there because it made the girls happy. LOL My brother invited me to go to Florida in December with them, I want to go, but I don't know what will be going on then..... I'm torn...my mom and her husband will be going as well.
Saturday night same friend and I had movie night at my house and I helped her put together a couple of gift baskets for a co-worker of hers whose husband got injured and can't work right now. She left them at my place because her cats would have torn them apart! I think it's funny because I know H had to see them setting on the table and had to see the bunch of deer hunting magazines! LOL
Toothbrush update, it's still on the far side of the sink, but I'm going to be cleaning the bathroom here shortly so I will move it into the holder, who knows if it will remain there..... oh the suspense!!
hrm, I'm glad to come here and read that you had a nice weekend. It helps your morale when you can decompress and not think of the mlc insanity.
The gift baskets sound like a very nice and thoughtful gesture. Oh, I'm sure your h took a nice long look at them, but especially the magazine! LOL! He'll be trying to get info out of you again very soon.
I can't wait to see where the traveling toothbrush goes once it's been put back in the holder. That is so funny! It's almost like a game w/him.
Take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Snodderly, you'll be happy to know I let my dear friend move the toothbrush.... it brought her great joy! LOL After I had cleaned the bathroom and put it in the holder it was moved back to the far side of the sink the next morning. My friend came over to watch all the "haunted" shows on SciFi with me last night and begged me to let her move it. She moved it to the other side, switching it with his razor. When I got home tonight, just a few minutes ago it was back in the toothbrush holder!!!! WTF?? I had to laugh!!!
Would someone tell me-am I as stupid and demented as he says I am or is this just f'ing crazy?
