Trying to save my marriage.

[MrBond]

"D4 and W down financially.. We need the money."

Ok then only you can know what's best to do. But it's YOUR grandmother. Forget about whether or not it bothers her. Actually go and take your D with you.

"I know we are separated, but I still want to be there for her." "She still wants me to move out when I get home"

Contradictory. Earn the money for yourself and your little girl. Let your W fend for herself.