I am sorry to hear of your grandma's passing. Take care of yourself.
This time will be between you and your family. What your W does or does not do is for her own reasons. Allow her that and do not judge her or have any expectations on what she does around this.
Your W needs space. You absolutely need to stop clinging and stop talking about your R with her. You will likely push her away and you might drive a wedge further between the two of you, making a positive outcome that much more difficult.
In the mean time, what other things did your W complain about, regarding you, other than not spending time with her?
