WAW Spouce wife says she is not in love with me.

[witz10]

Last update was 5/29 so obviously its been a while.
So lets see where to start. Been going to the gym still have a friend there that is a trainer who helps me out and there is a big difference to my body over the last few weeks. I actually had to pick up some new shorts and pants. Went from a size 34 to a 32 or 33 waist. Busy at work and still trying to put money away to buy a home for myself and my kids.
Now as for my wife, she is still seeing the drunk. Her grandfather passed away and I felt bad for her and her family. I also was sad cause I couldn't help out. I offered to her and her parents if they needed anything. I went to the funeral which was a surprise when I told her mom I was coming.
My wife took my kids to the shore with her mother for the week before the funeral. She invited me down to spend time with our kids. Which I went had a good time. Until she gave me the camera and I was looking at the pictures on it from the day. Well I went to far and there were pics of him and her. My roller coaster ride went down hill. She took my son on a ride and my mother in law asked what was wrong. I looked at her and said for all the college and grad school that my wife has done, for as smart as she is she is a blanking moron. My MIL agreed and then proceeded to tell me they got into an argument about why my in laws don't ask about him. My MIL wishes that she would open her eyes and see what she lost. Made me feel a little better. Next day I took my car to my FIL for work to be done. He and I were talking and I told him about the argument they got into. He looked at me and said his gut feeling is she will get hurt and figure out she made a big mistake and try to get me back. So along with friends who don't understand her even her own parents don't know why she is doing this.
I know I am living my life for me. Yes I am on some dating sites and have gone on 3 first dates. Nothing felt awkward but nothing also came of it. Do I still hold out hope yes, but how long do I hold out for? Its not like I am going out with many women. In fact most of them won't even talk to me because they see separated in the profile and kids and that is a double whammy. I refuse to put in divorced or single like some people have said. I am not that guy.

I confronted her about being short with me when I would drop kids off. Her response was I don't know how to be friends with you after 15 years of being together. Some friends of mine that are women said she is afraid to talk with me because she sees the changes and her feelings could come back. Every time I am around her I am myself. Joking, courteous, and nice.

My old neighbor called me to catch up and to see what I thought of the Roger Waters concert. I asked him if he went. Yep the drunk bought 4 tickets for the floor. Himself, my wife, neighbor and another drunk. My neighbor told me that the 2 drunks kept running for drinks throughout the whole show. He also made the comment that he thinks the infatuation is starting to wear off with him. Yea I still hold onto the fact that we can work something out.

I picture being in my home making dinner with my kids. I plan on inviting her over every now and then but I can see her flirting with me to get me back. I told this to my therapist. He said your still optimistic.

I got an email from her telling me she is going to get to the separation agreement when she has time she is concentrating on going through the kids toys and storage. This is something she has been working on for over 9 months I think.

I was looking for a facebook invite she sent out for my daughters bday party that was this past sunday. I went to her page to find it and see she read an article on yahoo 5 secrets to a happy marriage revealed by divorce. I told my therapist this one and he started laughing. Then said she must be confused.

Pretty much it in this nut shell of life. I know its a bit jumbled but a lot has happened and didn't want to post a novel.