Talk to a family counselor about visitation if you and your W can't agree.
"My W was only caring in the very beginning of our relationship."
That sounds pretty unfair. Life change influence how we act towards one another. I think you're confusing attention to 'caring'. She could have been showing caring, but not in the way that you realized. After being together for so long, sometimes the small gestures that you didn't realize she was doing for you was her way of showing caring. It's your job to keep a look out for those.
"No need to ask what changed because I don’t know the answer to that."
YOU need to ask what changed. That's the reason why your M is in the state it is now. It could be that her attention shifted to your kids after they were born, it could be that she was just tired, it could be from a number of things. But if you don't find the answer to that, things will remain the same.
"From her perspective there was little value in me."
Mindreading.
"She didn’t appreciate me and was very cold."
Again, mindreading. You wanted to be loved in a very specific way. However it's not a way that she might have learned how to love. That's why books like the 5 Love Languages and His Need, Her Needs are a must to read as well as DR.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
