Originally Posted By: Starsky309
Originally Posted By: Denver_2010


I do hope that the drama ends soon. I merely want OM gone from our lives altogether. Like GH said, I'd be happy never hearing his name again.



Denver,

I'm really glad that your wife is sharing the truth of these contacts with you. She's obviously feeling safe in doing so, and that's good.

I do think, however, that she should tell her supportive friend that while she appreciates the friend letting her know what OM says and/or does, that it's actually NOT helping her move on, and unless there's something specific that you and your wife absolutely NEED to know about (like some specific threat or something), that she would appreciate it if things like this are just kept to themselves and not passed along to her.

The reason is very specific: ANY "contact" with OM resets your wife's withdrawal clock to 0:00:00, and she has to start all over again. Even NEGATIVE contact, and even THIRD-PERSON contact. It's just the way the brain is wired, but it actually gives your wife a fresh jolt of PEAs when she hears stuff about OM. Any texts from him or about him is going to set her back, withdrawal-wise, and just take her that much longer to get him out of her system, emotionally and physiologically.

Starsky


I agree as well Starsky. It is going to be tough to prevent though. 'Friend' is a mutual friend of W and OM... not me (although we are friendly when I go to one of W's gigs). But remember, W and OM work for the same music company. They all seem to love the drama... W never has before, and doesn't seem to care for what is happening now much. But we'll see.

I will have to figure out how to put a stop to it if it continues much longer.


M 43
X 38
T 13
W moves out of home 11/2010
Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012
I request divorce 5/2012
W moves home 6/2012
Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015
I leave 3/2016
process of divorce