hey brit, i thought of you last night. i watched ab fab's new show about their exploits during the olympics. lmao. hope your olympic experience goes better than theirs
Me(f): 51 W: 41 DP:8 M:3 T:10 "W not happy" 7/11 D final: 8/13
I haven't seen that yet Grace but I heard it was very funny!
So just checking in!
Let's see heard from H a few times. On the night of opening ceremonies he texted me that about how happy I should be about my job etc etc then he said Wonder what (girl's name) is doing now? The girl he mentioned was an ex coworker of mine who started dating my ex boyfriend. It was one of those things in your 20s where a guy comes between you and a friend. It was terrible because he and she really loved to flaunt it. He would send her flowers all the time, flirt with me at company parties, she put up loads of pictures of them at her desk. I even said it was one of the hardest things to have happen. Especially because right before they started dating some changes were made and basically she took my job and my man.
okay I am telling you all of the above to say that in the past I would have laughed myself silly at how wonderful I am doing career wise and hoped she was stewing in a horrible position and somehow knew what I was doing. Not only did I not care DBers but I felt really sad that H thought that by saying that he would make me feel good.
He was bringing up an old wound, and old insecurity (a time in my life when I felt rejected as a friend, as a girlfriend, and as an employee) and saying doesn't all this make up for it. And I found it to be a BIG NASTY TURN OFF. I don't need to frame up how my accomplishments in other people's misfortunes in order to pat myself on the back (anymore) and while it's sad that he thinks of me in that way it's even worse that he'd be okay in using that as a way to connect with me.
I replied with my thanks and didn't mention the girl. He then texted me later that night and said I am so proud of you!!!!! I am hammered by the way. I later saw on his FB that he was at a party with GF. And I don't know it's great that you're proud of me but don't text me when you're with your girlfriend and you're drunk.
I haven't heard much from him since then. Partly because I think he's having a hard time with my success....I'm not looking to him for reassurance and he maybe doesn't know what to do about that. But that's all mind reading..
The next day I mulled all that over and I saw his updates and her updates from the night before and I thought I really am well and truely DONE. in fact I bought a bottle of champagne, toasted myself, and had a steak that night. I will always remember that day Saturday 28th July as my independence day. I'm not sure what happened...but it's like when you go back to your parents home and you think was my bedroom always that small? Or you hang out with friends from school after you've grown up and you don't really have that connection.
It's only been a short time but I do feel like I'm not that person. And unlike before I don't have any burning desire to show him. He might be quite happy living with a girl who isn't as pretty or as fun as me but makes a whole lot more money, pays for his toys, and does work that he finds interesting. I do feel bad for saying that comment "you always look to women in your life to solve your problems" it's true and I think it's one of those things that will eat him up inside. I wish he would find independence. I hope he is happy. Maybe he is. Maybe he doesn't need that same sort of committed, passionate, healthy relationship that I crave.
Today I had a conversation with a really great guy that 3 months ago, 3 years ago, I would have thought was well and truly out of my league. We chatted about our kids, and sports, and then he mentioned he was divorced. And my mate said there's no way he would have dropped that in convo if he wasn't interested. And I thought how funny....I am becoming the woman I want to be because I'm now attracting the men I want to be with.
Wow Brit...first of all its so good to hear from you again and to hear how you are doing.
Your level of awareness and detachment and inner happiness is truly something for us all to aim for.
Happy independence day Brit ((( )))
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
SO SO HAPPY for you dear, dear Brit!!!!! and so excited to hear from you! i missed you lady!! (((((((( )))))))
there is NO ONE out of your league! you are golden.. and your growth is inspiring, i LOVE that you laid down the comparisons/resentments from the past.. that is true FREEDOM.. to be able to wish someone else well who reminds us of an insecurity and past hurt. I love that!
i love that you toasted YOU! and did not need anyone else to do so! bring some of that champagne over to the picnic! we want to toast you too!
love you Brit!
Me(f): 51 W: 41 DP:8 M:3 T:10 "W not happy" 7/11 D final: 8/13
Thanks Busting. I need to catch up on everyone's sitches. It's only been a few days but feels like years. V, I dunno what's next but I'm not dreading it and I'm not scared of it anymore. I'm maintaining my no plans no expectations even if now that means without H.
Wow, Brit. Loved reading this today. You are amazing!! You have been missed around here. I hope you still continue to post.
Happy Independence Day!!
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
oh you sound great - and i thought i was being a bit ""co-dependent"" if i said you were sorely missed here - but now that everyone else said it, i will too
so glad things are sounding so good.
You are hot to trot, girl!!
we're toasting to you!
To Brit who brings magic to everything she touches - so happy to have her on the blanket with us!
and to Brit, who's leading the way in total detachment for all of us! We hope to join you - it's imminent
((((((((( ))))))))) zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
