Yeah, Mach, I'm good with that. The roller coaster I ride day to day is going to be just that....I just need to be reminded occasionally to steer it in the direction I want to go.
As for the bday, all I really knew was what S wanted for bday dinner. W moved out Fri, then Sat text me if I wanted to go bowling with them all...this was a new plan, or at least new news to me. She also assumed we'd be doing the dinner together without really discussing it. Tempers were still high, and I honestly didn't want to be around her, and as I said, I wanted her to feel the impact of what she had decided so I let her know that we would be splitting the day, not sharing it as a family.
So, to sum up the last 3 days since she left, I'd say we've had some really good discussions, with depth on both sides. Also has been some fun, flirtiness here and there, which has been good. She took some baby steps in admitting some things she's done wrong and said how good the last two weeks had been. She also indicated if she hadn't been drinking, she wouldn't have left. On the bad side, I let her push my buttons Sunday morning before church and I let my anger control my actions on a couple of things. I think I recovered ok, but my goal would be to hit it out on the first pitch, not the 2nd or 3rd at bat.
Biggest problem right now is dealing with the hurt with something besides anger, and having the patience to give her the time she needs without pressure. I'm probably pretty good on the 2nd one, though I have to keep talking myself out of texting her. I want to have some boundaries so she doesn't cake eat, but I also want the to keep the road home smooth.
So, let's use an example to see where my head should be. She text me this morning and said, "If you are going to be away from the house today, please let me know. I would love to come by and see the kids while you're out." I said "I'm not planning on going anywhere, but you can see the kids whenever you want, just let me know. If you want me to be gone, I will find something to do." She found out from the kids that I went out for a few hours with my B yesterday and was upset she didn't get an opportunity to use that time with them. I don't think she has a problem being around me, but she may think I have a problem being around her and is trying to avoid making me upset. I know that's a bit of mind reading, but trying to shed a little light on it.
I am making a new recipe for dinner and I thought I could invite her to stay and visit the kids for a while then. I feel confident I can do so without pressure and without R talk. And I don't really want to get in the habit of leaving the house so she can visit. As I said above, I'm trying to get my head in a "we're friends" kinda state and roll with that. Thoughts?
