And I'll post an excerpt from my response in that thread, here:
Originally Posted By: Kaffe Diem
It is completely understandable that you still love your H. It is normal.
As Cadet pointed out, if you believe your X is MLC, then please do read the MLC forum and information there. Also the MLC chapter in the Divorce Remedy book. It can help understand what you are seeing happen and also help you cope with what has been and what may yet come. It gets better.
You mention that you'd like to GAL but you don't want to leave your kids alone. Be careful about that kind of thinking. Your kids will pick up on your emotions so for their sake, you NEED to pick yourself up and move forward. Also, you need to be careful that in your own grief, you are not projecting onto your kids and also not smothering them. You need to be the rock in their lives.
First and foremost, the only way PAST this is THROUGH this. IOW, you will have all these feelings, in the full range from sad to anger to moments of happiness and also bitterness. Work through these because so many people get confused, thinking that "moving on" means stuffing the emotions. That will only hurt you more.
Next, you are new here so your posts will be moderated (meaning it may take a day or so for them to show up).
The best way to deal with that is to post fairly regularly in short amounts. Using this as a journal / diary is a good way of thinking of this. A couple short entries a day. Also, read other threads and support others, which will encourage others to engage you on your thread. You may not feel like you can "help" anyone else, but support can just be saying to someone, "I understand how you feel that way. I feel the same sometimes. I wish you well."
Make sense? Of course, use your own words and when you empathize with someone, you can certainly add your own experience and how you dealt with it.
So please get and read the DR book if you have not and start planning on some GAL activities. In time, you may also want to start looking within to see what you may want to change in yourself to build yourself up to an even better person than you already are. It will be good for you, good for your kids, and good for any relationships (intimate or otherwise) with people in your life...
