Do you regret your divorce?

[Nukem]

Hey, all.

I was married for my first girlfriend. I also was her first.
We were dating 4 years then got married. Our marriage was not a happy one.
We have 9 year old daughter and lots of bad memories.

My wife's parents are rich people and we had everything without much efforts- new car, flats, cash, etcetera.

I was kind of minion of fortune.

I regret my bad behaviour during our years together and I regret the divorce.
I realized what a bad husband and parent I was.
I was immature, aggressive, uncommunicative and so on.
Alas it is too late for me.

During the separation I improved myself but wasn't consistent enough. Here is my story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2262490#Post2262490

I am curious to know how many of you regret their divorces?

Did you find a better partner?

Would you remarry your ex?

[ericmsant2]

Nukem

I am not sure that I "regret" my divorce; however, I am grateful for the result of my changes that were inspired by having to go through it.

Did I wish the M could have worked? Yep.

Could I control someone else? Nope.

Did I find a better partner? Yes...but at the same token I am different. So to ask the question in that context, I'm not sure if the answer is as simple as a Yes. I think it depends on a lot of different factors.

Would I remarry my ex? No not at this time. I am in a committed relationship with a wonderful women. My X has changed and I do not know her. That said, if I were alone and she was a different then maybe. I would much rather spend my time and energy though focusing on the here and now, which to me is my current R.

Eric

[Nukem]

"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter"

That is inspiring.
Thank you. Eric.

[MrBond]

The question really doesn't belong here because you're talking to a group of people who are trying to SAVE their M. Once a D goes through, most don't have a say to get the D in the first place so there's always going to be regret.

There's especially going to be regret that the WAS doesn't realize how great a good M could be.

[Nukem]

MrBond, sorry if so.

I tried 180 to safe my marriage after EA and PA. I acted very bad.
I forced my wife to take the decision together or divorced.

I had my chances and ruined them because of my impatience.

I want those who are trying to safe their marriages to know that unconditional love and patience are the most important factors.

[MrBond]

"unconditional love and patience are the most important factors."

Cross out 'unconditional love'. Commitment and patience are the most important factors. Many people don't understand what 'unconditional love' is or means.

Many people here if they get D, regret it. But what they don't regret are the lessons they've learned.

[ClingingToHope]

Actually, this forum mostly contains people who are already divorced and recovering from that.

"I am curious to know how many of you regret their divorces?"

I regret many, many, many, many things that happened that contributed to the divorce. In the end though, it wasn't my decision and I wanted to save it ... and I really miss my daughters. I regret not being able to put them to bed every single night.

Did you find a better partner?

Not yet. I've dated two women, both briefly, because I just knew they wouldn't be right for my daughters. I know I will find a better partner. Even the two women I broke up with likely would have been better than XW. She was an awful partner in many ways.

Would you remarry your ex?

Not the person she is now. I don't even like her as a person and physically, she's no longer attractive to me. I sometimes think about why I married her in the first place.

[SunFunOne]

No, I do not regret my divorce. There were a lot of things wrong with my marriage but things I thought we were both working through. Little did I know that he had other plans and was not working on the "family" at all. The only regret I have is that it hurt my kids so badly.

Yes, I have been with someone new for 8 years now. He is SO much better than my husband. I will never look back.

Barb

[~ kd ~]

Actually, this forum mostly contains people who are already divorced and recovering from that.

Just to note I believe Bond posted that before this thread was moved from newcommers to here...

[kat727]

I agree with you Barb. My regret is not being able to protect my kids from their pain. I am not sure that any of us could stop that hurt from happening.

I have waited until all of us are In a better place to really contemplate dating. I had a couple of false starts but in retrospect I wasn't ready. It takes time and work to get there. So you know...it's time.

kat