Why is he putting his LIFE in your hands - are you a doctor or qualified alternative medicine provider? His 'only trusting you' is not fair to you, unless you actually are qualified. Can you take a stronger position on getting him qualified help? Suicidal talk is not to be taken lightly. I pray you all can get him to accept help.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
I was certified in homeopathy many yrs ago, that's beside the point. The fact is I know better than (and would never) tell him I can or will help him. We are all well aware he needs professional medical help.
There has been a small army of people, mothers, brothers, friends, bosses, sons, daughter, and even neighbors who have seen him go from happy gardener to lonely guy on the porch, who have tried to get him help.
He says he fears God too much to ever take his life, but that doesn't stop him from putting himself in harms way.
I even went as far a alerting my village police dept. creating a Matter of Record so if I call them they know his history. It's extrem, but I want to cover all bases.
I have been praying he would receive help for 3yrs now. I tried to force him and that backfired bad. Really bad!
That's when I found this site. It's been better since then. He's not angrily screaming anymore, because I am not agitating him or giving him a victim to abuse.
I've learned it's how I react that can make a difference.
The past can't be ahead of you in the future. You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction. What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!
hi - nero here. just read beginning of your posts. forget my prior comments- i had no idea what the hell. i never did forum- i see NOW before i even open my trap i should read everything someone wrote before- your sitch is soooo complex.
im so sorry for your pain & predicament. you sure sound like a very darn together woman- i admire your vision. i hope i can get some- you inspire me. good luck
Yes, how you react can make a huge difference, and it's all you really control. It took me a while to learn that.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
H depression is bad. He's sleeping while he's suppose to be at work.
Our S21 said to him that he didn't want to be on the same gig at work with him. He was my H best pal from the day he was born. Now H treats him as if invisible.
H turns to me saying if I had only let him go, he wouldn't be here to disappoint our S. I slipped and said "if you would come back to your family S wouldn't be upset". He said he can't flip his mind back.
We can talk without fighting, were back to the respectful aspect of our relationship. H says he hates giving me his anger that's why he started hanging out with crap.
It kills me when he says he doesn't want to get better or flip back. I know it's the MLC, but it's like he's in a catch 22.
Nobody wants to be miserable. He can't get away from the idea that he's worthless. He speaks wonderfully about me and the kids to everyone.
I can GAL all I want. Heck, he want's me to buy a car cause mine is getting to dirty from him. Not sure how that's going to help the root of the problem though. It's good for me though!
I know I can't help him, he has to want it. But at this rate he's going to have to crash and burn, or be forced by police in order to have a qualified someone enforce 24hr observation .
MLC is kicking his butt.
The past can't be ahead of you in the future. You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction. What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!
I think you have to understand that MLC isn't a disease. It's a life transition. Your H's depression could be the result of an actual medical condition. Have you ever consulted a doctor about it?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Yes, I'm aware of the life transition that has been happening several yrs now. I would even say were at a new phase since I began writing.
H calls it "he has crashed landed and now he's walking away from the wreck without direction, disoriented, and now guilt, something he's never dealt with.
One day at a time...for me, is all I can control.
The past can't be ahead of you in the future. You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction. What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!
taken from my post in this thread: He won't! We (my 3 adult boys and I) offered to handle everything in order for him to relax and get help at an away private facility.
He won't see a doctor. He insists he needs to be angry to push through life. Then he crashes and is depressed.
The past can't be ahead of you in the future. You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction. What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!
