RT, say what you will about your sitch and how you're upset with yourself and your W because of what is happening between the two of you...
but for goodness sake, man...
terminal or not... you have cancer...
you may put on a brave face, but deep down there's likely some part of you that is in a complete panic.
I'm posting this link even though I know external links are frowned upon, because I believe you really need to consider what is likely going on in you, underneath any thoughts you might be having to block a very real and harsh reality:
