In your top post on this thread, regardless of her relationship with her OM, you are probably dead on when you said, "I think she does like the idea of him"
Regardless of her initial departure, you DID cheat on her and you DID rub her face in it. Imagine how that must have stung her...
So...
You will be dealing with her being unable to emotionally trust you, right now. THAT is where you will need to work on for sure. Regardless of the outcome of the M (as Cadet mentioned above, have no expectations), you will want to be a man she can trust. You have a D with her so she will need to trust you there. And she possibly will, without much effort. But won't for her.
Again, think and feel how it is for you to consider your W is with another man. Use that to truly empathize with her.
Good for you to look at counselling for your past issues. That is great and is completely separate from your M issues.
Some of what your W is saying is script, such as wanting you to be happy and find another woman.
It IS a tiny... tiny... tiny... tiny... tiny... very tiny... positive (maybe) that she mentioned the bit about if the two of you were meant to be together, you will... It IS likely to be her indecision. Again, she's hurt, yet she may still love you, deep down. Otherwise, it wouldn't hurt her.
Do NOTHING with that possible fact, except store it in memory.
Ouch, she is definitely pushing your buttons. Again, note she's hurt and wants to hurt you back.
You need to detach as Cadet mentioned above and ALSO stop pressuring her. You NEED to STOP the R talks.
I would not say you are LRT, you certainly do need to look at Sandi2's 37 (and some odd) rules and follow most of them.
You need to be transparent about your life to your W. She will need that to trust you. That does not mean calling her to tell her what you are doing, that is pursuit. If she asks about your life, tell her. Not the emotions, just answer her questions.
You indicate you've read DR. So, what 180s are you planning. Also, what kind of GAL might you do?
Also, I notice you indicate in your post above that you will SHOW her you can be a responsible and good father.
Do not do ANYTHING to SHOW her anything about yourself. Do it because you want to be a better man, a better father, and someone that hopefully, only a fool would leave.
