W called to talk about MC that I suggested. She was upset at first so I spent the first half of the conversation mostly listening and agreeing with her. I stuck to my guns about the MC. She had a lot to say and seemed pretty angry. All things I had heard before. I can't help but agree with her because she is right. I took my time to explain some things I realized over the last couple months. There was no begging her to come back or "why can't we work it out" talk. I just took the opportunity to try to make amends. She definitely agreed with all the negative points!
She said that she plays pool on Tuesdays. I asked her if she had joined any of the leagues around town as she was always very good. She said no, and I told her she should think about it. With a little instruction she could be great. She seemed to lighten up a little bit after hearing that. I guess it was a genuine compliment along with a 180 as she complained that I never gave her the time to have a social life.
After that the conversation turned to small talk. Not the easiest small talk in the world, at least it was something other than negative feelings. We talked for almost an hour, which is probably the second longest conversation we have had in a month. She never brought up the MC again and I did not think it was a good idea to advance to far so I let it go.
I guess talking is an improvement. I know I should not expect anything drastic to happen suddenly. Patience is one of the things I need to work on. I hope that I have identified some points I would like to change about myself and how I can begin to accomplish those goals.
The reason I brought up MC is because the LRT was not gaining any ground. I thought I had to try something different. Maybe by shaking things up a bit I could get out of the current rut. I see the benefits of LRT. In my sich it seems like more of the same. For the last year of our M we really didn't talk and I was already pretty "dark" before she left.
If anyone has any suggestions about a better way to handle a separation besides no contact I think that would be helpful.
Me:27 W:30 S1:3y/o S2:8m/o T:5 M:3 Bomb:5/16/12 W moved out:5/16/12
