Need help with detaching and hoping to reconcile.

[lillystillinlove]

Labug,

Please help, I don't understand what I'm doing wrong! I'll read the book Co-Dependent No More, but tell me what you see as "yeah but" statements in my last response to you. I re-read my response to you and I don't understand. Are you talking about my expectations of him when it comes to our S? Does it seem like I'm using our S as leverage to exert control over my husband? Because when it comes to anything else, as soon as I feel myself feeling or thinking that way I shut it down. How do I minimize the effect of all of this on our S (per H's request)? I know you said "implied" but I'm not seeing what you are saying about my response to you.

My son doesn't see me get angry at H or see us argue. The call wasn't to hurt H, if it did so be it. I sent a text that was to the point and when H asked to speak to me we discussed the next days logistics, that's all. No comment on being MIA. The call had the desired effect on S, he calmed right down and felt a ton better.

I really thought I was not making excuses.

As for a visitation schedule, I've done that in a manner of speaking. I've sent H my view of S's daily schedule. I stated in the email that this is in no way set in stone and to make changes as he see fit. This is the first week of all of this so we'll see over the next few weeks what works. I made no demands or set any expectation.

Labug, I hope you can help me figure this out.