Adinva- Thank you for your input. Yesterday was so hard. My mother and I scattered my father’s ashes on the one year anniversary of his passing. And I am dealing with my sitch. As much as I love my father, it’s over. He died, it’s final. What I am dealing with now is ongoing.
In regards to your questions you asked me. I was no doubt frustrated because W has already deviated from the schedule once. A couple weeks ago she wanted me to have the kids longer then scheduled and I said no problem. The reason she said it wasn’t a good idea for me to see S yesterday is because she says it’s really hard on S to see me in short visits. I usually see him for 24 or 48 hour blocks however every now and then it was nice just to take him out to dinner when it wasn’t scheduled and W was ok with it however it looks like that will be changing. She’s now leaning towards keeping the schedule set in stone because she’s seeing our sons pain when him and I part ways after our short visits. I don’t know if seeing him during the unscheduled times is good for him or not. I do know that we always love seeing each other.
When W and I briefly discussed me seeing S yesterday I am pretty sure I made an inappropriate comment to W. She said “this is so hard on S” and my reply was, “yeah, what did you expect”. Her response was, “yes, I know”.
Looking back on that interaction I should’ve probably just validated her feelings. Too late now, at least I realized I did the wrong thing. This will never go exactly as planned. I will be ok as long as I reduce the number of F&*% ups on my part.
