to be facing surgery for your little boy in the middle of all this - it is phenomenal that you can even write as calmly as you do.
and i think you made a great decision about your siblings - the fixer in us wants to make sure everyone is okay before we make sure we are ok. it may be that it only needs to be temporary until you can be more detached from their issues. I did the same with my brother - and it may not have changed his stance but it helped to take a lot of stress off me.
i think that it is wonderful that your h is stepping up to the mark with taking care of your s during this time.lots of opportunities for you to validate his actions
i don't know if it is the same for you, but i found out quite early in my sitch, that what i had thought about h not doing things like that, was more about me than him. it was me, through my actions, that prevented h from stepping up, and when i backed off, it gave him the space to do those very same things i criticized him for not doing. it was quite an eye opener for me!!
this time is really for your s, now, and no matter which way things go eventually for you and your h, what your s will remember is the two of you setting aside your differences and difficulties to truly come together for him. he's little now, but he will remember it in some profound way.
we'll toast to your family and everything going well, at the picnic - and if you need to, come visit us there
((((( )))) zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
