Should I initiate R talk?

[Arsene]

Thanks Adinva. Point taken. I hope to get there soon. I'm looking for a way right now to get my hands on DB and DR as well as a few other books that have been mentioned on this site.

I'm also starting C tomorrow and I'm looking forward to the experience.

I have been commenting on other sitches where I can and all of this reading is helpful as well.

It's just that I feel like I spent my life being the pillar, the one to be relied upon and suddenly, the ground has been taken from under my feet. The things I considered the most stable in my life are fading before my eyes and instead of feeling determination and strength, I've now got uncertainty and fear dictating my every move. I know I have to get over all of this and figure out who I am. In there lie the answers to my questions.

Although I realise that just journaling on this thread is very therapeutic, I also get excited when I see someone writing in my thread. It gives me the sense that someone is there, that I'm not going mad, talking to myself.

Thanks for reading me. I hope I get a chance to be where you are soon. I started reading your thread and you seemed to be so strong from the beginning.