Thanks T^2. I'll read up on your sitch, as I can always use the help.
W has been texting me the "why are you trying to hurt OM's family" crap here lately. From my view, I didn't do anything other than bring his W up to speed....the behavior has been all his (and my W). That said, I did agree not to contact her again (suggested by the police I spoke to today, so really wasn't much of a give on my part). But I left her with one thought....if OM is really just a friend, and OM's family is so important, and OM's W thinks you're having an affair, continual contact is only going to continue their downward spiral. Read up on it.
At this point, she basically told me that working relationship is nearly gone and she has begun cutting contact. I got that sense that she didn't tell me this before because she thought I'd gloat or something. She explained the "I love you" comment, and even admitted it was wrong. Some acceptance of responsibility on her part...huge step forward. She also explained the "meeting" Friday, told her side, and again, admitted she let it go too far and should have excused herself.
We talked a lot about the last two weeks (after Mach1 gave me a 2x4 on controlling behavior) and she admitted, it wasn't hard, and felt very good for both of us. She is still extremely scared to try, expects behavior from years ago to continue, and has a lot of resentment, but I can see some glimmer of hope.
