you already get it. That's a pretty fast learning curve, even it did take you to hell and back to learn it.
I've had many clients spending most of their lives trying to be proved "right" or at least
"not as wrong" as the WAS and they miss the whole point.
You sound solution based. Like you want to focus NOT on who did what wrong or when
or where the scorecard is....(scorecards just don't belong in marriages)
but you seem focussed on what you can control----YOU.
And that's a big deal Dakota. It's huge. So keep doing that.
You are on your path and she's on hers. She's not really your business anymore (as long as she doesn't hurt the kids)
and all you have to worry about is YOU and your kids. Simplifies things really.
Work the program, whether it's AA or DBing...b/c the program works.
We hammer the GAL a lot here, b/c it works too. So do what you can and keep up at the meetings
When I said someday you'll be here posting I meant it. NOT b/c you'll be the almight guru
but b/c you've been there, done that. And people need to know that although
your pain is deep, it's not fatal.
Though your pain is lasting - it's not eternal.
You DO get better and so will your life. (It already is when you think about it. A growing sense of peace is beginning to show itself...)
And there are always going to be people who need to hear that they, like you,
can survive this....and someday thrive.
You're taking the steps you need to take.
Sorry about the jail time. I assume it was your 2nd or 3rd DUI but I hope no one was injured.
B/C then some good can come out of this. Been there, done that.
I lost a dear friend of mine to a drunk driver, I was in law school.
But just one year earlier, SHE had been drinking and driving, (to my engagement party-w/ME in the car)
We all lived and there was no DUI or injury...but there but for the grace of God go I, or her, etc.
Try to see it as a blessing b/c if you stay sober, it will have been well worth it.
I know that sounds crazy but it's not. Too much history to share tonight but my dad was a brilliant educated raging alcoholic and I'm telling you that sometimes I wish he'd gotten arrested and then gotten help.
Our lives might have been so much better...
you and your kids can make it right now.
((( )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
