I went through the experience you are going through right now. I felt the same way that you are feeling right now. I wanted to prove to my husband that I had not done that. I was frantic about it. Tried the talking and the letter writing and the whole nine yards.
Finally I just took it to the Lord and told him about it. This is the response that I got back. Stop defending yourself. Stop trying to prove that you didn't do this. You know in your heart that you didn't do this and that he is talking from guilt from what he has done. Until he faces what he has done, he will continue down this path. The next time he says that to you, just simply say I'm sorry that you feel that way or that you were given that impression by me.
The thing of it is, is that he feels guilty for what he has done. In order to get rid of his guilt, he is going to put it at your feet to see if you are going to take it away from him. You can not take his guilt away from him. This is something that he has to deal with because this is something that he has done. He is reaping what he has sown.
He distrusts you because he was unfaithful and until he comes to terms with that, he will continue to blame you for what he did. I have been there and done that. I tried with everything inside of me to prove otherwise and he would have none of it. He knew and still does know that I did not do that. There is nothing that I can do that is going to ease his pain that he is going through. The only way that he is going to ease his pain and his mistrust is by repenting of what he has done to me. Not what I did to him.
The same is in your case. What are you going to say that is going to make him feel any better about what he has done to you? Not a thing because he has not repented of what he has done. He does not realize that the guilt and fear that he is feeling is do to his own actions. He thinks that you are going to be able to take that away from him by admitting that you did something that you did not do.
So my suggestion, is to take it to the Lord and pray about. Ask the Lord to lead him in the right direction and help him to learn how to forgive himself for what he has done. Give him the strength to work through the consequences for what he has done. If he has already asked for forgiveness, then this is a part of the consequences for what he has done and he is going to have to go through it in order to not make the same mistake.
