I read through the thread you linked and the most recent thread.
You are on the right path that you set with Joann. There are LOTS of philosophies on the board, and they are not all DB philosophies. The friend, welcoming, open strategy DOES work and it works very often. You have to see if it works for you.
And whatever strategy you choose, you have to press on and not flip flop. I don't see your actions flip flopping, but sometimes the words are...you question yourself. That's ok.
Revise your goals/actions. See how they match TO DATE.
He's having dinner with you...check.
I think right now you should look at....if you and he were building your love again...how would you know? What would be the very next step? What would he be doing?
That's your next relationship goal.
****
The other thing I want to say is that when other well meaning folks give advice about setting boundaries, and what things SHOULD be happening, and theyve seen this work and that work.....they often have done plenty of OTHER things themselves, in their heartfelt warm interactions with their spouses...and you aren't hearing about THAT. WHAT did they do to warm up?
**** At the end of the day, YOUR OWN
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
