As for the shoes, it's just an example. I have no hostility over it, but I do have my irritations about it. It feels like she's making everything sound like she's doing me a favor. I'm getting that vibe on a lot of things and I'm not interested. Doing me favors only makes me feel like I'm further victimizing her if I don't take the bait. It also makes me feel like if I do take the bait, I'm further feeding her thoughts that *I need her*.
I'm thinking strongly of calling the lawyer about a legal seperation. It's not a D, and I'm sure she'll love me for it, but at this point I think it's what I want. I don't need her and I don't like feeling obligated to her, but it goes against me making her do the work.
By making it hard on her, I mean that I'm not doing anything to force her hand. I want her to make the decisions so that there's nothing for me to share. Granted, I'm tossing about the thought that this just means she believes I don't think she's serious. Tough call. I will call the lawyer. I'm curious. If I'm still game for it by the time my refund check from school comes in and if she hasn't made a move, I'm probably going to file for legal seperation.
Ugh! I'm actually sad today, before I came here. I've not felt alone like this in a long long time. $uck$. I didn't see this coming since I've been alone already for a long time. W hasn't slept in the same room as me in over a year and it's not her that has me feeling alone. Hmmm. I guess we'll see what dreams will come from this tonight.
I do have good news though, the course I thought I was going to have to retake next semester got graded on a curve. Seems I got the *C* I needed after all so that class is forever in my past!
