Living for ME

[25yearsmlc]

so i have a question that i hope someone can answer. i cannot afford a L.


I don't know what assets you have, such as real estate, pension or retirement accounts, or if there are children. If the answer to any of those questions is yes, then imo, you cannot afford to NOT have a lawyer.

Don't be penny wise and pound foolish.

i am not really fighting my wife for anythin on the D.

then you can expect her to get what she wants and for you not to.

IS that fine w/you?


i talked to her for a few minutes last night and she told me i have 2 weeks to respond to the D papers. i have no idea what this means and neither did she.


she SAID she had no idea what it means. Do you believe her? I"m asking sincerely. What are you basing your belief on? Does she have a history of candor and honesty on these issues?

if i dont it defaults. does anyone know what this means and what i am supposed to do? thanks.

Default means, in effect, you lose. If someone makes a claim in court, and the other party does not respond, then they "Default" which is like agreeing to the other party's claim. It's conceding it to her.

You can show up to represent yourself and argue your case if you want.

That is always always better than not showing up at all, and then "Hoping" a judge will magically know what you want and then, without ANY evidence on your behalf, somehow rule fairly. It won't happen.

You need a lawyer and if you insist on saying you cannot afford one, then at least show up yourself.

IF you write up something w/your wife, then hire a lawyer for 2 hours to review the agreement you have, and see what they think. Do not "wing" this.

But if you show up to represent yourself (& I must stress, that NOT showing up at all - is the worst choice you can make)

then speak respectfully when it's your turn, and LISTEN to what the judge says.

Respond to what he/she asks. Don't veer off or attack your w or bring up things that are NOT relevant to the question asked.

It's fine to say you were "hoping for a reconcilation" b/c that's relevant. Presumably your w will SAY she does not have that hope,

but that should not be a shock.


Dakota

Dakota, are there no property issues, no children and no marital assets at all?

IF that is the case, then I'd still want something written up so she can't claim rights to future property of yours.

Just a thought.

I once had a client (a friend of a friend) who needed a huge favor from me. She wanted me to do her boyfriend a favor and wanted me to go to court w/him b/c he was in a bad position, had no money, ETC.

big sob story about how his ex wife wanted it all and he could not afford to pay, & he was getting screwed, etc.

So I show up at court, FOR FREE...and HE does NOT show up! I'm there at court with NO client. It's the only time that ever happened to me and it was a FAVOR for a friend...geez...so guess what?


I track him down and eventually find him (at her place) and he says "Oh I couldn't get to court (or call me??) B/c IF I miss work I'd lose my job"...and my truck and blah blah blah"

What a fool

So he "forgot" to show up OR TELL ME

so then there's a bench warrant out there for his arrest b/c if you don't show up when you are issued a summons, that's what happens in that situation, and he HAD to serve time in jail mandated will lose his job for sure and his car AND his future pay will be garnished so he loses on all counts. The rest of his life he gets to say he's served time in jail..brilliant choice of his.

AND he mortified ME and he sure cannot ever ask another favor of me either.

I only say this to show how stupid his reasoning was about not wanting to lose his job==it was all short term discomfort he wanted to avoid but now he's got a ton of more serious problems.

I think he was afraid to go to court and dumped it all on ME and he was so wrong.

He lost ALL of the things he was obsessed about losing, and for what? To keep a job he now lost for sure? To keep a truck he can't pay for while in jail?

To keep seeing his kids-can't see them at all in jail now...

it's an extreme but real example of someone who wanted to save a few bucks ---but lost it all...and used up major points w/me and got a judge very angry.

Since you have a computer you ought to look up the word "Default" so you'll know for sure what it means. You can also research SOME of the questions you raise in your post. But really if there is ANY property or an inheritance you expect someday, I'd want to hire a L for a few hours. IT's like insurance.

THere are also legal resources you can use. And a niche market of "father's rights" is growing in the divorce area but they don't work for free.

I have found that when I work pro bono (meaning I don't charge) I usually get clients who will do nothing for themselves, but want miracles to be done on their behalf. It backfires on me and them.

But clients who make a payment plan and make an effort, can DO just FINE.

I'm not giving you legal advice b/c it's malpractice to do that--and I don't know you, or have enough information even if I wanted to...

but I am urging you to hire a lawyer at least for an hour or even half an hour. IF you do that, have your questions written in advance and ask the L's.


Good luck