Need help with detaching and hoping to reconcile.

[lillystillinlove]

Forgot to breathe... now that I'm calmly pissed off, tell me if I have this going dark / NC thing correct. I just read through some of the posts on the going dark thread.

First, I can have this "dark" on a dimmer switch.
Dark is to limit or cut off contact (what my comfort level allows) to allow the WAS time and space to figure things out and make some decisions.
Respond to contact initiated by H with to the point, polite answers but don't always be available.
Stay calm.
Work on self, not to "show" H I've changed but for myself and our S.
Depending on how things move the dimmer can be turned up, slowly. Be patient.
Be the best mom I can be.


I have a couple of questions:
Do I initiate contact to keep H informed of S's goings on? school / schedule / issues.
Can this be seen as pursuit?
Would keeping general S info to a polite business like email unless it is a significant issue (good or bad)?

I'll wait to see how things are going to work to figure out a dark techniques for when H is at our home to spend time w/S. This is going to be a tough one. I'm of the mind that he's the one that left so I will not avoid him in my home or make myself scarce. He will be a guest, in my mind, and I will treat him as such. Is this appropriated?

Yesterday was the 6 month mark of when I found out about the EA+.